Journey

    If you picked up this story or looked it up online thinking, "Oh, this story probably has a good plot," you were most likely disappointed with what you found.  But, like all stories of significant length, this story indeed has a plot, and perhaps it will now finally begin to dictate the events of the story.
    "RoboRabbit," said Teddy, "you seem troubled.  What goes on?"
    "I feel that we need to do something," responded RoboRabbit.  "Something important.  This whole story we haven't really done anything important, and I feel that it's time."
    "Well, then," said Teddy.  "It seems that we must find the One."
    "And the Two."
    "And the Two."
    "Not the Three."
    "Not the Three."
    "Find all four."
    "All the more."
    "Count to five."
    "Save our lives."
    "Level six."
    "Break some bricks."
    "Number seven."
    "We're in heaven."
    "I ate eight."
    "Can't you wait?"
    "Evil nine."
    "That sounds fine."
    "Yum, pi squared."
    "Pi squared isn't a number!"
    "Yes it is, it's just not rational."
    "Or an integer!"
    "W/e, I think pi squared deserves a spot in our list of numbers."
    "You know what we need?" questioned Teddy.
    "Claudio McAwesome," replied RoboRabbit.
    "How do you suppose?"
    "She's been searching for the One as long as I've known her.  If anyone can help us, she can."
    "Alrighty then," said Teddy.  "As much as such a suggestion makes more sense than anything we've done thus far, I suppose it's off to find Claudio McAwesome!"
    Just as he pronounced his exclamation mark a small ship descended from the clouds of Miuxwodih and landed nearby.  They went to investigate, thinking that perhaps another new character had entered the story.  As it turned out they were completely wrong, for after a set of small stairs extended from the ship a figure appeared which was easily recognizable as Claudio McAwesome.  At this point RoboRabbit resisted the urge to utter "speak of the devil" at the sight of this pretty possum.  Instead he decided to discover why she was here.
    "Why are you here?" asked RoboRabbit.
    "I felt something deep within me telling me to come here," she replied.
    "Well good," said RoboRabbit, "for we need your help."
    "With what?"
    "We have decided," answered Teddy, "to find the One, and you have the most experience."
    "Well, long ago the Oracle told me I would find the One, and I have been searching ever since.  According to the Kukxi, the One and the Two must locate and climb the invisible stair to start their journey.  This stair can be climbed only when the One and the Two are present."
    "Where is this invisible stair?" questioned RoboRabbit.
    "The Kukxi doesn't say, but after much long searching I found it just before finding you.  It is located on the planet Liibed, at the end of a hallway filled with traps.  I attempted to climb it when I found it but I fell through after two steps."
    "Then it's off to Liibed!" exclaimed RoboRabbit.  And so they entered the ship of Claudio McAwesome, which was better than theirs, and flew to the planet Liibed, which they found to be a pure black planet with floating buildings throughout, so that there was only one spot where they should land, next to which was a simple door to a neon green building.  They landed and exited the vehicle, ready for anything, except of course shuriken-shaped hail, which was thankfully not a common occurrence on Liibed.
    RoboRabbit opened the door and the three of them entered, which is certainly a very interesting thing to do at a door.  They found themselves under a low roof standing at a cliff which was seemingly endless.  The pit was about twenty feet across and it was bridged by a tightrope.
    "I can't cross this," said RoboRabbit.
    "I can," replied Teddy, skidding across the wire like it was nothing.
    Claudio McAwesome then proceeded to duplicate his actions, leaving RoboRabbit alone on the edge. RoboRabbit shot his lasers at a single spot in the wall, attempting to make a hole, but to no avail.  Then Claudio McAwesome pulled out her rubber band and threw one end to RoboRabbit.  They both turned on their infinite coefficient of friction boots, and Claudio McAwesome began walking away.  When the rubber band was on the verge of snapping, RoboRabbit turned off his infinite coefficient of friction boots and flew straight towards Claudio McAwesome, who stepped to her right just in time for RoboRabbit ro fly past her and, since she was fixed in place, swing back and forth until finally he came to rest beside her and they continued walking.

Departure

    There are some things which are rather difficult to accept, such as the fact that you did an indefinite integral incorrectly or missed a step in solving a differential equation.  If you think you're correct, you are not likely to accept anything others say about how to fix it or what you did wrong in the first place.  You are insistent that you are the one who's correct and everyone else is incorrect.  'Twas this type of delusion which currently clouded RoboRabbit's mind.  Unfortunately, more was yet to come.  The wafflebear came in front of everyone to say something.
    "I must leave now," she announced, "for there is trouble on my home planet Xijjii which I must attend to."
    She then proceeded to board her ship and prepared to close the door.
    "We will miss you greatly," uttered Killer Kangaroo.
    "Before you go," began RoboRabbit, "I must know your name."
    "My name is," began the wafflebear, "I must go now."
    She said this not because her name was "I must go now," but because at that moment an army of squirrels arrived from the sky and the wafflebear had no time for a battle.  As she departed from the planet and the squirrels landed, RoboRabbit was left with nothing to do but fight.  And so he fought.  RoboRabbit battled the squirrels with unprecedented force, with such power that the second law of thermodynamics was destroyed, causing the squirrels' atoms to become unstable and disintegrating most of the squirrel army, except for one lone squirrel.  It was the first squirrel to enter this story and the last one to leave it.  The squirrel who had battled so fiercely with RoboRabbit only to become his ally.  The squirrel capable of occupying multiple places simultaneously.  The squirrel who knew RoboRabbit's one weakness, the only thing which could kill him.  The squirrel who teamed up with a Turtle to defeat RoboRabbit, and whose Turtle ally left him for the Vine Master.  The squirrel who was once in league with the Master of Evil.  The squirrel who was stranded on a planet and also stranded RoboRabbit on that very same planet.  The squirrel whom RoboRabbit had thought was with them on Standos.  The squirrel whose army RoboRabbit had just disintegrated by breaking the second law of thermodynamics.  The squirrel whom I have been talking about for the past long time.  The squirrel whom I will soon stop describing.  The squirrel whose name I will finally say in the next sentence.  The squirrel who pulled out a freeze ray, turned it on, froze RoboRabbit, dragged him onto a ship, lifted off, flew to Miuxwodih, landed, took RoboRabbit out, put him in a room alone, unfroze his head, had the name Teddy, and began talking.

    For those of you who have read a certain series of books or seen a certain series of movies, the term "vampire" was devised long ago in the legend of Vlad the Impaler and other similar legends.  The term "sparkle vampire," as used in this story, refers to an entirely different creature defined by a silly and extraneous author.  No sparkle vampires occupy this chapter, and I merely mentioned them to clarify that they are too absurd to enter this story.
    "We have a problem," anounced Teddy.  "My people have recently been attacked on several occasions by an evil vampire."
    "And you need my help to defeat it," finished RoboRabbit weakly.
    "Exactly," said Teddy.
    "Then unfreeze me," said RoboRabbit.
    So Teddy zapped RoboRabbit and he ended up as a small child.
    "Woops," interjected Teddy.  "I guess I had it set to 'real boy ending'."
    He then changed the setting and zapped RoboRabbit once again.
    "Alright," said RoboRabbit, stretching his limbs and enormous tail, "I'll need a knife, a block of wood, and a bag of carrots."
    "Are vampires attracted to carrots?" inquired Teddy.
    "No," replied RoboRabbit, "I am."
    So Teddy supplied him with the supplies and his first action was to cut the wood in half and set one half on fire for warmth.  He then too the knife and began carving the other half.
    "Now go invite our vampire to dinner," said RoboRabbit.
    While Teddy had no idea how eating dinner with a vampire would kill it, he nevertheless set out to find the vampire, expecting RoboRabbit to know exactly what he was doing.  He soon encountered the vampire attacking some squirrel villagers and yelled to it, "Hey vampires, you wanna come eat dinner with me?"
    "Oh, I absolutely love dinner partied!" exclaimed the vampire.  "I am Xeni Wadof, and I love the taste of squirrel almost as much as a good steak."
    "Well I believe my friend RoboRabbit is cooking some steak right now for dinner.  He seems to know what vampires like."
    And so Xeni Wadof went with Teddy back to his dining room to find a plate of salad and another plate with a steak on it, just as Teddy had expected.  He sat in front of the salad and Xeni Wadof sat before the steak and immediately began eating.  As Teddy ate, he noticed something peculiar about the steak.  While it looked very realistic the color was not quite right.  Teddy excused himself into the kitchen and found RoboRabbit there, eating the bag of carrots as well as the carrots contained in it.
    "How's dinner?" he inquired, resisting the urge for a Looney Toons reference.
    "It's quite good," answered Teddy, "or rather, mine is.  What's up with Xeni Wadof's steak?"
    "Let's go see," replied RoboRabbit.
    They both proceeded to enter the dining room and found that the vampire had finished the steak and was now dead in the chair.
    "Know you not how to kill a vampire?" asked RoboRabbit.  "You kill it with a wooden steak!  That'll be twenty-five bexxohp*."

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*Bexxohp (singular bexxoh) are the currency of this universe