"I must leave now," she announced, "for there is trouble on my home planet Xijjii which I must attend to."
She then proceeded to board her ship and prepared to close the door.
"We will miss you greatly," uttered Killer Kangaroo.
"Before you go," began RoboRabbit, "I must know your name."
"My name is," began the wafflebear, "I must go now."
She said this not because her name was "I must go now," but because at that moment an army of squirrels arrived from the sky and the wafflebear had no time for a battle. As she departed from the planet and the squirrels landed, RoboRabbit was left with nothing to do but fight. And so he fought. RoboRabbit battled the squirrels with unprecedented force, with such power that the second law of thermodynamics was destroyed, causing the squirrels' atoms to become unstable and disintegrating most of the squirrel army, except for one lone squirrel. It was the first squirrel to enter this story and the last one to leave it. The squirrel who had battled so fiercely with RoboRabbit only to become his ally. The squirrel capable of occupying multiple places simultaneously. The squirrel who knew RoboRabbit's one weakness, the only thing which could kill him. The squirrel who teamed up with a Turtle to defeat RoboRabbit, and whose Turtle ally left him for the Vine Master. The squirrel who was once in league with the Master of Evil. The squirrel who was stranded on a planet and also stranded RoboRabbit on that very same planet. The squirrel whom RoboRabbit had thought was with them on Standos. The squirrel whose army RoboRabbit had just disintegrated by breaking the second law of thermodynamics. The squirrel whom I have been talking about for the past long time. The squirrel whom I will soon stop describing. The squirrel whose name I will finally say in the next sentence. The squirrel who pulled out a freeze ray, turned it on, froze RoboRabbit, dragged him onto a ship, lifted off, flew to Miuxwodih, landed, took RoboRabbit out, put him in a room alone, unfroze his head, had the name Teddy, and began talking.
For those of you who have read a certain series of books or seen a certain series of movies, the term "vampire" was devised long ago in the legend of Vlad the Impaler and other similar legends. The term "sparkle vampire," as used in this story, refers to an entirely different creature defined by a silly and extraneous author. No sparkle vampires occupy this chapter, and I merely mentioned them to clarify that they are too absurd to enter this story.
"We have a problem," anounced Teddy. "My people have recently been attacked on several occasions by an evil vampire."
"And you need my help to defeat it," finished RoboRabbit weakly.
"Exactly," said Teddy.
"Then unfreeze me," said RoboRabbit.
So Teddy zapped RoboRabbit and he ended up as a small child.
"Woops," interjected Teddy. "I guess I had it set to 'real boy ending'."
He then changed the setting and zapped RoboRabbit once again.
"Alright," said RoboRabbit, stretching his limbs and enormous tail, "I'll need a knife, a block of wood, and a bag of carrots."
"Are vampires attracted to carrots?" inquired Teddy.
"No," replied RoboRabbit, "I am."
So Teddy supplied him with the supplies and his first action was to cut the wood in half and set one half on fire for warmth. He then too the knife and began carving the other half.
"Now go invite our vampire to dinner," said RoboRabbit.
While Teddy had no idea how eating dinner with a vampire would kill it, he nevertheless set out to find the vampire, expecting RoboRabbit to know exactly what he was doing. He soon encountered the vampire attacking some squirrel villagers and yelled to it, "Hey vampires, you wanna come eat dinner with me?"
"Oh, I absolutely love dinner partied!" exclaimed the vampire. "I am Xeni Wadof, and I love the taste of squirrel almost as much as a good steak."
"Well I believe my friend RoboRabbit is cooking some steak right now for dinner. He seems to know what vampires like."
And so Xeni Wadof went with Teddy back to his dining room to find a plate of salad and another plate with a steak on it, just as Teddy had expected. He sat in front of the salad and Xeni Wadof sat before the steak and immediately began eating. As Teddy ate, he noticed something peculiar about the steak. While it looked very realistic the color was not quite right. Teddy excused himself into the kitchen and found RoboRabbit there, eating the bag of carrots as well as the carrots contained in it.
"How's dinner?" he inquired, resisting the urge for a Looney Toons reference.
"It's quite good," answered Teddy, "or rather, mine is. What's up with Xeni Wadof's steak?"
"Let's go see," replied RoboRabbit.
They both proceeded to enter the dining room and found that the vampire had finished the steak and was now dead in the chair.
"Know you not how to kill a vampire?" asked RoboRabbit. "You kill it with a wooden steak! That'll be twenty-five bexxohp*."
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*Bexxohp (singular bexxoh) are the currency of this universe
